Friday, June 29, 2012

Black Box Confessional

The preface to Thomas' book Black Box Confessional.

My hands tightened around the steering wheel, ready to jump from the starting position at the first sound of the gun.  My legs ached from the tenseness I was forcing them to adhere to, but I didn’t notice.  By now it had become second nature to be bent and twisted in the uncomfortable position.  My body shuttered in anticipation, realizing more than a few fleeting moments had passed while I waited to go. 
I knew there would be no sound of a starting pistol, no flag dropping, and no buzzers.  Here, there would be nothing at all. This was not a race, it was a meeting.  A meeting that could bring me answers to the questions that had been haunting me; or one that could send me farther on the quest to find a truth.
            Light suddenly filled the dark blackened yard causing reflections to bounce off every wet surface.  Just as abruptly as it illuminated the surroundings it disappeared before returning once more, repeating the pattern over and over again.  The process continued, until without warning it rested in the on position. 
I was being summoned from inside, by someone I could not yet see.
I needed to get out.  Still, I could not will myself out of the car and force my way to the door; through the falling drizzle that hit the car without a sound. 
The weathered yellow door, with its matching exposed yellow light looked nonthreatening.  Yet, there was something eating at my soul.  I was too uncomfortable and conflicted to escape the safety the car now offered.  My right hand uncoiled from the steering wheel and reached to the gearshift; I had to leave.
            The distant murmur of someone calling my name into the darkness over the roar of the car seemed to echo deep inside my head.  My hand continued following the directions my brain and subconscious commanded.  The voice called out again instantly stopping the advance of my limb.  It was different than the first call; now it was harsh, demanding and formal all at the same time. 
            Questions began filling my head, Could the call actually be for me?  Was that even my name? The most important question seemed to echo the loudest.  What was I doing here? 
The voice continued to call; becoming more demanding each time it repeated my name, finally causing me to sharpen my stare through the falling rain.
            A woman appeared, filling the space of the open door.  The rain blocking her details from my face, but I could make out her form.  I knew her the moment I saw her outline.  She was not what I had come to expect an informant to look like.  She was squat and plump, but not nearly round.  She looked more like someone had mashed her from head to toe making her body take on the shape of an ellipse.
            Curiosity to my inquiry and the information the short woman in the doorway held took total control of my body, overriding my brain and subconscious in the process.  I moved my clinched fist from the steering wheel and rested it on the door handle.  I had to get answers; I had to know what actually happened, what really took place ten years ago.  I had to know if the truth I’d known had really been a lie to cover up a truth the community was not ready for, a truth that I was not ready to accept. 
Pushing the door open I exposed myself to the wet that surrounded me.  I jumped from the car before I had a chance to put it in drive and barrel down the road away from her.  Running through the muddy drive and bounding up the steps I stopped under the protective covering of the small collapsing porch.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Back in the Bun!

For those of you who visit our corner frequently you will know that I often talk about the adventures of my kids as well.  This post will be no different so if you don't want to read about mama drama than move on to a different post.

If you had asked my daughter two years ago(and well any year before that) what she wanted to be when she grew up she would have said an actress.  If you had asked her last she would have specifically said not an actress.  What changed?

A bad experience at a dance school.  A bad comment regarding Cloudy's body made by an instructor to a parent.  How did Cloudy find out?

She was standing behind the instructor and they didn't know it.  Now that wasn't the only thing that had happened that year, but that was the reason Cloudy went from taking eight dance classes to only classes her dad taught.  In an attempt to save her love for dance she tried out for a production by Ballet Nebraska.  The only problem is this company was loathed by the director of our school due to personal conflicts.  Once she found out my husband no longer taught at her school.  Of course those weren't the reasons stated but everyone in the Omaha dance community knows they were.  Cloudy finished the production and hasn't danced all year in fact she has insistently refused to do so.

Last month we stopped to get sno cones and they had just opened a new dance school over by it.  I jokingly asked Cloudy if she wanted to check it out.  I was surprised when she said yes, so we went inside.  Where is she today?

She is trying out for a production they are doing!  She has a list of other things she wants to do with Ballet Nebraska.  If you had asked me a year ago if I thought she ever would have danced again I would have said no.  All I know is a young women who was so bitter at people she trusted and had to watch those people do bad things to her family finally realized that the only person she was hurting was herself.  What have I learned from this that I need to pass on?

1.  Be careful who you trust to teach your kids.  And when you think you are starting to trust them...make sure you really do!
2.  Back your children up!  It's their dream and as their parent you should be their biggest supporters.
3.  If they want to give up on it(and this was hard for me)sometimes you have to let them.  Don't push it, because sometimes they will realize how much they loved it.

Special thanks to all the people who supported Cloudy through that time and into her new endeavors!

Friday, June 15, 2012

The Witch and The Rockstar!

It is finally that time for me to start laying out my new manuscript.  For those of you who didn't know my husband has been out of town for almost a month(a long month) and I have been running our business.  He will be returning on Monday and I will be handing the business reigns over to him! 

My completion goal is August 31st.  The date leaves me with a word count goal of a little under a thousand a day.  This is very achievable and I am ready to rock and roll!

Stay tuned for details regarding the characters!  The first character you will meet is Deliverance(the witch) based on my daughter.  Actually the whole project started with some random thing she said one day.

Have a great weekend everyone!