Part 2

Last year, Mark had accused her of lying. Amber had cheated on him and she’d found out. She thought she was doing the right thing by telling him. When he confronted her about it, Amber put the works on and he ended up staying with her. She played the jealousy card and he’d bought right into it. Regardless of what he believed, Amber had not been faithful and her lies were ruining their friendship.
They couldn’t go back now.
Pulling on her robe, she walked out of her bedroom. Lexi lived in the same house all her life. Each room held different memories of her childhood. Passing the living room in route to the kitchen, something caught her attention. The movement was subtle, if she hadn’t been on high alert she wouldn’t have even noticed it.
He sat there in his typical sleepwear-boxers and a wife beater. Lexi knew she was hallucinating; Mark was in Washington, DC-a recent post September 11th assignment. When he’d joined up, the world had been fairly peaceful or that’s what it seemed like, but now it was a whole different country.
“I don’t want to talk to the real you. What makes you think I would want to talk to the figment of my imagination you?” she said continuing to walk towards the kitchen. At first her mission had been simple-a glass of water, but now tequila was in order.
“You’ll get tired of fighting with me,” he said. The statement was already true. She hated being mad at him.
Lexi returned with her bottle of tequila and sat at the dining room table. From there she could see that the figment hadn’t disappeared.
“Why don’t you let me help you?” he said standing up.
“Because you’re not real; you’re something I’ve made up in my mind,” Lexi replied.
“All you had to do was answer the phone.”
“And all you had to do was believe your best friend.” She choked down all the hatred with a shot. “We’ve been friends since we were six years old and you chose her,” she finished taking another drink.
Mark sat down at the table and watched her chug one after the other. He didn’t say anything else; allowing her to wallow in her own self pity.
The sunlight burned her skin, but than a cool shadow blocked it. Opening one eye, she saw Zach standing over her with his arms crossed. He looked angry as if he were about to accuse her of something. Of course, that would be nothing new to her. In two weeks, they would be married. Lexi understood she should be running around preparing everything, but she just didn’t feel like it.
“Your boyfriend called me this morning,” he started, letting his jealousy shine through. “He’s worried about you. Said that he had a bad feeling about you last night and that you wouldn’t pick up the phone when he called.”
Lexi rolled her eyes, trying not to puke.
“I told him you were fine, just peachy, but clearly you’re not. I don’t even know my own fiancée and he’s half way around the country and knows.” Zach began to pick up her mess from the night before; although he chose not to do so quietly.
She didn’t understand his aggravation, but she didn’t want to fight with him either. Zach would rise to the occasion.
“You don’t have to do that, I can take care of myself you know,” she said attempting to stand to her feet. The effects of the tequila caused her to sit back down.
He stared at her for a long time and when he finally spoke he said, “The problem is you only let one person do that and he’s not here. I can’t live up to him Lexi.” When she didn’t respond, Zach walked out the back door. He liked to sulk on her patio and she knew she should go to him.
It took all of her energy to make it out there but she did. Zach sat staring into the horizon overlooking the pond behind her house. “I’m sorry,” she squeaked out still in her alcoholic fog.
“When he left, I thought it would be the best thing for us. The distance should have brought us closer, but it hasn’t,” he said.
“You don’t know what you’re saying.” It was the only response she could come up with.
“Most of our friends chalked everything up to jealousy. Until he left and than they saw everything I did.”
“He’s been my best friend since I was six years old Zach.”
“And I would kill for you to look at me the way you do him. Kill for it Lexi, but it won’t ever happen. He broke your heart, can’t you see that?” Zach shook his head. “No, you can’t, because you don’t want to believe it. He asked Amber to marry him. Did you know that? And she said yes. One year later and he’s still calling you a liar and you continue to punish yourself.”
The truth finally settled in and she knew that along the way she’d hurt Zach on her path, “If you feel that way, why are we still together?” The words came out before she could tell her mouth to stop.
“Because I love you.”
“It sounds more like you’re trying to win a competition than actually be with me.”
“Are you telling me the wedding is off,” he asked with not a stitch of sadness in his voice.
“You deserve to be happy and I don’t do that for you anymore,” Lexi replied.
Zach stood angrily and she was suddenly very aware of his body mass. He was quite a bit bigger than her. Like Mark, he’d played sports, but now he did construction which kept him muscular. Lexi knew that his temper was easily flared although she’d never been the direct target; she’d seen it at the bar. This simple gesture terrified her, but he walked out of the house anyway.
What had her miniscule life become? It had once been filled with dreams and ambitions, but she’d rearranged it for the man that had just walked out her doors. Mark had always ridiculed her for giving it all up and now it seemed more stupid than ever.