A Little Bit Longer

This blog has been silent and the truth is so have I.  Over the past summer, our family suffered the tragic loss of our fearless leader…my dad.  While we as children all know that we will someday lose our parents, its worse when it comes in a violent inhumane way such as murder.  During the time shortly thereafter his Facebook and our Facebook pages begin to fill up with condolences and memories which were expected since he was a minister and an unselfish man.  I shared every one of them on my page, but couldn’t write one of my own to express any emotions that I was feeling; minus the angry tweet to the Kansas City chief of police on which I still stand my ground that a family should be notified before anything is posted on twitter.    Our mom wanted people’s memories to be shared at the services, but I couldn’t bring myself to put anything down on paper.  While everyone else stepped up to the plate I struggled with words…any words.  My words that my husband has often referred to as pretty and elegant were laced with hate and bitterness.  I think everyone the day of the funeral waited for those words, maybe even needed them, but they like my father were an absence that echoed through the building. 

Months and months have gone by and still even writing this the dread builds inside my chest.  In my house the unfinished character collage, unedited manuscripts and ultimately the closed laptop is the proverbial elephant in any room that I enter. My son eventually stopped asking how many words I had written in a day; my daughter who has been intrigued with my current WIP stopped telling me things I should add to the series.  My husband doesn’t even try to bring up the subject of writing.  Even in the few moments that I have tried to lie down words they have been laced with the same hate and bitterness.

Of course leave it to my ridiculously talented daughter to call me on my own issues and not use any words to do it.  She over this time has been the one true shining light.  Since a young age she has been involved with the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.  She doesn’t have diabetes, but her grandpa did and it was an organization that he inspired her to be a part of.  Shortly after everything happened she decided to be our Captain for our JDRF walk team.  It didn’t stop there though as she had already started searching for material for her dance solo for the year and ultimately settled on “A Little Bit Longer” by the Jonas Brothers.  While this song is about the lead singer’s personal journey with diabetes, Cloudy decided to dedicate it to her grandpa and her own journey through this. 

Through all of this she has never stopped dancing a living testament to the rest of us.  To put it frank there have been many tears shed while watching her perform to one of her all-time favorite songs dedicated to one of her all-time favorite people.  The solo has been very successful at competition this year and has even garnered media attention for the story behind it.  On Friday morning we as a family will be sitting in a court room as the man who took so much from all of us will be sentenced and I find it bitter sweet that the night before we will be watching Cloudy perform her beautiful piece yet again.  It’s hard not to imagine Dad sitting beside all of us cheering for her or annoying the neighbor on the side of him while he brags about her.  But in all ways he is there in the heart of his granddaughter as she performs a piece that reminds us that something so beautiful can come from something so tragic. 

-Veronica

“It is a long journey, not just as a writer, but as a human being. Take nothing and no one for granted, be humble always, be kind especially when it's difficult and never forget the place where you came from and the people that helped you get where you are. These things will live on in you and through you, long after the words have faded.”
― C.K. Webb

More....

More things to perfect any readers home!

New House...new furniture...more space for new books

Our recent move to KC has brought many new things into our life. If anyone in our blogosphere wants to throw us a house warming party I would like these please!

Dare to...

My twelve year old doesn't like to read.  I really wish she would love it as much as I do.  Recently I have been thinking about all the books that I loved when I was her age.  Where I grew up there was no mega bookstore nearby and well I was one of those kids who would read anything I could get my hands on.  At twelve years old that included my first Harlequin novel thanks in part to my Aunt who noticed I was quite the bookworm.

It wasn't a piece of fine literature or anything, but even back than I enjoyed reading it.  Years later it was one of the titles that has always stuck in my head.  Last week I stumbled across it online and I gobbled it up immediately.  Yesterday it showed up in the mail and I was returned back to my preteen years of giddiness as I help my treasure in my hands.  This year it is a challenge to myself to increase my library with all the memorable treasures that have turned my into such an avid reader and writer.

What are some of your reading treasures and would you dare to find them?

Finally Open!

It's here!

The first copies of Thomas' book is here!  He won't be home for the week until Wednesday and its going to be very tempting not to open in!

Proofing the Confession!

The life of a writer...final proofing before printing, along with some Starbucks Java Chip Frap, and Cheesecake Factory Pumpkin Cheesecake...hard life but someone has to do it!!!

Writers to Follow

Happy Monday Everyone!

Thomas and I are building a new page for our blog.  It is about fellow writer's blogs that people should follow.  While we have compiled a list for the writers and bloggers that we have interacted with over the years we would like your input as well.  If you know one that we should follow leave the address and name of it in the comment section of this blog or send it to me via twitter in my direct messages @deanhockeymom

We will hopefully  have everyone posted during this coming week!  In the meantime have a great week!

-Veronica

Dance Moms

Most of our readers have seen us post things about our kids from time to time and the various activities in which they participate.  Last night Cloudy wanted to watch the season finale of Lifetime's Dance Moms.  This week the company was in LA preparing for a competition.  While there one of the mom's contacted an agent and the agency immediately set up a photo shoot for this young dancer.  Hollywood has a way of portraying things in a light that makes things look so easy when in fact they aren't.  Our children are all beautiful...mine...yours...but to simple call up an agency and get a shoot is not how things are done.  On top of that they took pictures of this young lady that were more like glamor shots than head shots and there is a big difference.

Now this may have been how it happened for her because she was already on the show and maybe the shoot was for something else entirely, but I wanted to explain how this thing typically works.

1.  There are a lot of very scrupulous characters out there and no doubt you have heard some of them on the radio advertising talent searches.  Please remember you NEVER pay an agent to represent your child.  In small and large markets you may have to pay for web fees for them to be on their website.  You will also have to pay for head shots.  Traveling to auditions in usually your responsibility as well.

2.  Research the agencies on line.  If you have friends in the industry have them make some recommendations to you.

3.  Don't be afraid to start local.  Both of my kiddos started local and for the most part have remained local by our choice.  It is a good stepping stone though for later in their career and it is usually not nearly as overwhelming as a big market.

4.  Submit what they ask you to and how they ask you to do it.  Remember that if you are submitting a child specifically a girl they don't expect to see make up on them.

5.  They will contact you if they are interested.  Waiting is painful especially when your children are involved, but wait.  I've waited as much as six weeks to get information.

6.  If they request a meeting with you go and be professional.  This is the agent's profession and ultimately how they get paid.  If your child is younger bring something to keep them entertained.  This is a way for the agent to also see how they will behave on set.

7.  If you are offered representation read your contract thoroughly!  Take it home and research the agency.  Understand as well that a lot of shoots are during the day so you will need to find out your state's policy on how many days a child may miss.  This was big for us because with the several shoots Kaiden does throughout the year plus times we would miss for hockey travel it could add up to quite a bit.

8.  If you are not offered representation don't dwell on it.  It's hard because we think that our kids are beautiful and they are, but remember that an agent may be full on that type of look.  For example Kaiden's blonde hair is pretty common, but Cloudy's bright red hair is much more unique.  Mothers of girls also have to keep in mind that the number of girls who attempt to model is VERY high versus the number of boys.

9.  Most agencies contracts are non-exclusive which means you can work with other agencies as well.  There are some out there that are still exclusive so if that is the case make sure you are comfortable with that.

Well I am not a know all when it comes to this, but I wanted to share my advice and experience from the past.  Since we just moved back to Kansas City we will be going through this process somewhat again with Kaiden, because he never modeled here.  I am including a couple pictures of the kids to this post.  One is of an actual shoot that Kaiden did for a company and one is a picture of Cloudy from her "look" shoot that her agent wanted.  If anyone wants to add comments or suggestions please let me know!

-Veronica

Join the Confession!

As we move closer to the release date for Thomas' book find updated info here or follow Thomas on twitter https://twitter.com/thomas__dean

Join the Confession!

What are you reading?

With Veronica going on one of her crazy read every book she can get her hands on binges, we are curious what our fellow writers are reading right now.  We always welcome new and independent authors as we like to support!  Leave us your suggestions in the blog comments below.  The more the merrier!

-Thomas

My Excuse

Miss me?  Well I've missed all of you!  Might I say as well that I would have much rather have been here than what we were doing! 

So I have been rather busy recently moving...again.  In fact this is the second time we have moved this year!!!  Luckily we got rid of a lot of the unnecessary stuff during the last move!  Here's how all this went down...

At the beginning of July my husband was out on the road helping out his dad's business.  His dad had not been in the best health.  I was diligently running our in-home daycare and working on the expansions ideas I had for it and the possible move into its own building rather than in our home.  Our daughter had just started dancing again and our son was working on conditioning for the upcoming hockey season.  Tryouts for our next hockey son had already concluded and I had begun helping getting things lined up for the rest of the team. 

My husband comes home from traveling one weekend and hits me with a bombshell about his dad's health and then tells me we should move home(to Kansas City).  I thought about the word "home" for a minute and how nice it sounded.  We had moved to Omaha for my job which I eventually left so I could go back to school and we opened our own daycare.  I'm not going to lie...I was the most homesick out of everyone in the house!  Moving would complicate things.  New schools for the kids would be easy enough.  However, hockey would mean choosing between two programs in the KC area and coaches who didn't know how far they were allowed to push my kids.  Kaiden would have to earn his black belt from a new karate school.  As it stood he would be the youngest student to earn one at the school we were at and on top of that we had been there since moving to the big O.  Not to mention we would have no new hockey sons next year and how on earth was I going to tell my daycare parents!  We were comfortable and even with bouts of being homesick I knew this.

Well we committed to the move and unfortunately due to my car breaking down while in the process I had to close the daycare well before I wanted to do so and didn't get to tell any of my kiddos good-bye.  Obviously out of everyone I miss them most. 

Now we are in that adjusting stage.  We are living with my husband's parents-whom I adore-while we find us another house although we are in no hurry.  Most of our belongings are in storage but we did swap out living room furniture for ours.  Cloudy is enrolled for school, Thomas is helping with the business and Kaiden finally hooked his X-Box up which makes for a happy boy.  I am in the process of getting enrolled for school.  What's been missing is what I like to call the mojo.  I've been so busy trying to get everything else situated that I just haven't felt like writing at all.  At first I blamed it on the fact that the house is smaller and I had no place to focus and the constant interruptions of phone calls and knocks at the door.  They are all just excuses made up in my mind!  So our house was bigger in Omaha but there was still no quiet place to write with the daycare, two children, two teenage hockey boys and the dog.  In fact it was louder there and I probably got the least amount of writing done in that house than anywhere else we've lived.

 So after I stopped making up stupid excuses for myself I did what I always do when I'm in a slump-read.  In the last two weeks I have read seven books with a page count well over three thousand.  Last night I closed the last book to a series and laid in bed staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling and finally after almost a month I could clearly think about my characters and the piece I had been working on writing.  It was a breathe of fresh air and the homecoming I had been waiting for all along.

A Little Monday Encouragement!

One of my friends loaded this on Facebook.  I know many of us who feel this way especially when the rejections start rolling arriving in our inbox!

Black Box Confessional

The preface to Thomas' book Black Box Confessional.

Preface

My hands tightened around the steering wheel, ready to jump from the starting position at the first sound of the gun.  My legs ached from the tenseness I was forcing them to adhere to, but I didn’t notice.  By now it had become second nature to be bent and twisted in the uncomfortable position.  My body shuttered in anticipation, realizing more than a few fleeting moments had passed while I waited to go. 

I knew there would be no sound of a starting pistol, no flag dropping, and no buzzers.  Here, there would be nothing at all. This was not a race, it was a meeting.  A meeting that could bring me answers to the questions that had been haunting me; or one that could send me farther on the quest to find a truth.

            Light suddenly filled the dark blackened yard causing reflections to bounce off every wet surface.  Just as abruptly as it illuminated the surroundings it disappeared before returning once more, repeating the pattern over and over again.  The process continued, until without warning it rested in the on position. 

I was being summoned from inside, by someone I could not yet see.

I needed to get out.  Still, I could not will myself out of the car and force my way to the door; through the falling drizzle that hit the car without a sound. 

The weathered yellow door, with its matching exposed yellow light looked nonthreatening.  Yet, there was something eating at my soul.  I was too uncomfortable and conflicted to escape the safety the car now offered.  My right hand uncoiled from the steering wheel and reached to the gearshift; I had to leave.

            The distant murmur of someone calling my name into the darkness over the roar of the car seemed to echo deep inside my head.  My hand continued following the directions my brain and subconscious commanded.  The voice called out again instantly stopping the advance of my limb.  It was different than the first call; now it was harsh, demanding and formal all at the same time. 

            Questions began filling my head, Could the call actually be for me?  Was that even my name? The most important question seemed to echo the loudest.  What was I doing here? 

The voice continued to call; becoming more demanding each time it repeated my name, finally causing me to sharpen my stare through the falling rain.

            A woman appeared, filling the space of the open door.  The rain blocking her details from my face, but I could make out her form.  I knew her the moment I saw her outline.  She was not what I had come to expect an informant to look like.  She was squat and plump, but not nearly round.  She looked more like someone had mashed her from head to toe making her body take on the shape of an ellipse.

            Curiosity to my inquiry and the information the short woman in the doorway held took total control of my body, overriding my brain and subconscious in the process.  I moved my clinched fist from the steering wheel and rested it on the door handle.  I had to get answers; I had to know what actually happened, what really took place ten years ago.  I had to know if the truth I’d known had really been a lie to cover up a truth the community was not ready for, a truth that I was not ready to accept. 

Pushing the door open I exposed myself to the wet that surrounded me.  I jumped from the car before I had a chance to put it in drive and barrel down the road away from her.  Running through the muddy drive and bounding up the steps I stopped under the protective covering of the small collapsing porch.

Back in the Bun!

For those of you who visit our corner frequently you will know that I often talk about the adventures of my kids as well.  This post will be no different so if you don't want to read about mama drama than move on to a different post.

If you had asked my daughter two years ago(and well any year before that) what she wanted to be when she grew up she would have said an actress.  If you had asked her last she would have specifically said not an actress.  What changed?

A bad experience at a dance school.  A bad comment regarding Cloudy's body made by an instructor to a parent.  How did Cloudy find out?

She was standing behind the instructor and they didn't know it.  Now that wasn't the only thing that had happened that year, but that was the reason Cloudy went from taking eight dance classes to only classes her dad taught.  In an attempt to save her love for dance she tried out for a production by Ballet Nebraska.  The only problem is this company was loathed by the director of our school due to personal conflicts.  Once she found out my husband no longer taught at her school.  Of course those weren't the reasons stated but everyone in the Omaha dance community knows they were.  Cloudy finished the production and hasn't danced all year in fact she has insistently refused to do so.

Last month we stopped to get sno cones and they had just opened a new dance school over by it.  I jokingly asked Cloudy if she wanted to check it out.  I was surprised when she said yes, so we went inside.  Where is she today?

She is trying out for a production they are doing!  She has a list of other things she wants to do with Ballet Nebraska.  If you had asked me a year ago if I thought she ever would have danced again I would have said no.  All I know is a young women who was so bitter at people she trusted and had to watch those people do bad things to her family finally realized that the only person she was hurting was herself.  What have I learned from this that I need to pass on?

1.  Be careful who you trust to teach your kids.  And when you think you are starting to trust them...make sure you really do!
2.  Back your children up!  It's their dream and as their parent you should be their biggest supporters.
3.  If they want to give up on it(and this was hard for me)sometimes you have to let them.  Don't push it, because sometimes they will realize how much they loved it.

Special thanks to all the people who supported Cloudy through that time and into her new endeavors!

The Witch and The Rockstar!

It is finally that time for me to start laying out my new manuscript.  For those of you who didn't know my husband has been out of town for almost a month(a long month) and I have been running our business.  He will be returning on Monday and I will be handing the business reigns over to him! 

My completion goal is August 31st.  The date leaves me with a word count goal of a little under a thousand a day.  This is very achievable and I am ready to rock and roll!

Stay tuned for details regarding the characters!  The first character you will meet is Deliverance(the witch) based on my daughter.  Actually the whole project started with some random thing she said one day.

Have a great weekend everyone!
-Veronica

Water Rat

Kaiden and his buddy Crush at the Omaha Zoo.  Every time we visit this turtle follows Kaiden through the aquarium tunnel

Summer is almost here in the big O and we are super excited in my house!  My kids will return to their summer water rat status and Thomas and I will keep ourselves busy writing. 

My current WIP is about witches and not just any witches but the descendants of the Salem witches.  My main character Deliverance has a relationship with water like no normal person.  A trip to the zoo last week with Kaiden's class got me thinking about all the possibilities behind it. 

What would you do if you suddenly figured out that you could control water in ways you never thought possible?  Kaiden's answer was simply as he just wanted to be able to swim as well as his old buddy crush.  Me on the other hand would love to make rain dance.

I Need to be Outlining...but Can't Focus!

I do know where my focus is this week!  Maybe the Easter bunny needs to bring me a giant basket of it!  I need to be outlining!!!  My entire WIP is stuck in my head and I'm afraid if I don't get it out it will make my brain explode!  At first I blamed my problem having bought a new house this year.  You see when I outline I use sticky notes(everywhere).  The problem is I have no idea where to stick them!  It's an excuse...plain and simple excuse.  However, on Friday I was so ready and excited that I went out and bought my two whole new packs of sticky notes.  I haven't even opened them.  I held them in my hands for a while today but couldn't get any farther then that.  Does anyone else have this problem during the outlining and planning phase and if so what do you do to fix it?

Apps!

This morning I woke up and the first thing I did was reach for my phone and send my SIMS to work for the day.  I came downstairs for the day and my husband is playing Words with Friends on Facebook.  Later on that day I am watching a movie with my daycare kiddos and reach for my phone again.  I stop myself for whatever reason and a thought pops into my head about all the time I waste on these type of apps.  Recently they have been the first thing I've done in the morning and the last thing I do at night.

Thomas is a champion at pretty much every Facebook game or app there is out there.  Both of us get into one, grow tired of it and find a new one.  Today though I wonder how much creativity has been lost by us putting time into apps instead of our projects.  Did whoever created these things know that when they did it would cause people to be more focused on them than their own lives? 

I know we shouldn't be all work and no play and as humans deserve some stress relief, but like most people I tend to play on these far more then I should.  If I worked out half as much as I played on my apps than I would most definitely weigh what I should.  As our slow season begins(the one where we are not at the rink five nights a week) I question if I'm ready to take on the projects I wanted to get done.  I have a new WIP that needs to get out of my head, but instead of outlining it like I should have the last couple weeks I played apps!  Now I find myself staring at my first free weekend since October not ready to start writing like I should be. 

Is it just us out there that finds ourselves so distracted by these things? Is anyone else willing to admit that they sometimes do these things when you should normally be working?

-Veronica

Oh the Places You'll Go!

My current WIP is set in Salem(yes it has to do with witches).  With all the research that I have done for this project it made me think about its location.  Time after time I have visited places for vacation and always had certain things in my mind on how it should be, but showed up and it wasn't that way at all.  A good example of this would be the Hollywood sign.  All the pictures at night show it beautifully lit. Well here's a hint...it's not lit at night. 

Even with visiting Salem I thought about my reader's preconceived ideas of what it should be like.  Should I write it what they think or what it is actually?  If I take liberties with it how many people will actually know?  So I thought I would ask my blog readers what they thought and how they work with a specific location!  Just curious as I love to read about others processes.  Hopefully it enlightens everyone!

Have a great night and I will see you all on Friday!

-Veronica